So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
