In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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