You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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