so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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