So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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