You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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