I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i just google imaged poop.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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