Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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