chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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