Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
apparently the secret to your success is patron
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
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she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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