I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
