oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
