The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
