I just threw up on my dentist
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
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