Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
