so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
