Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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