you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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