still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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