My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
