they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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