and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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