it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
