My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize