Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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