I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize