i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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