So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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