Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
