peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
