Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
being pregnant is like rehab
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
