So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
