You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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