Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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