I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
