He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
