1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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