Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
