I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
should my penis look like a turkey
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
