Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
