Pappa wants mamma naked
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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