if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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