Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
only if we run a train.
done.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
