Christians are straight up FREAKS
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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