...so i touched it.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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