yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
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