dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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