it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
