And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize