well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
