Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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