can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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