I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
