There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
