Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
