I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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