Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
