Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
