is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
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