i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
