just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
