dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
