What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
