Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.