Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?