One girl and one boy is just not enough.
yea but for you.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.