I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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