This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
