WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Operation Purity has been aborted
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
