i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
