Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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