I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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