So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
