i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
