Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
