Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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