He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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