apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
