i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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